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Why Complaining Kills Happiness – And A Complaint Cleanse Tool

ari salmansohn
Stop Complaining and Increase Your Happiness! Read on for 4 tools – including how/why to go on a Complaint Cleanse! 

Everybody talks about the importance of appreciation – how it’s such a big-time happiness booster.

Truth be told, appreciation very much deserves all the attentive, flattering PR it receives!

But today I’d like to discuss the dangers of appreciation’s extreme opposite: depreciation.

Let me state clearly that “depreciation” is not simply the absence of appreciation. It’s the presence of focusing on problems, flaws and disappointments.

Some standard definitions of depreciation: to lessen the value of; to belittle; to represent as being of less merit.

There are a lot of people out there who are depreciators – walking around, looking for things to complain about – even when they have many reasons to rejoice.

They speak in sentences that begin with “but” or “if only” or “what if.”

As a result, depreciators wind up devaluing a lot of good stuff they should be feeling quite giddy about!

By decreasing the value of what’s around them – they decrease the love, joy and inner calm they feel in their lives.

YOU CAN BECOME A DEPRECIATOR FOR 5 REASONS…

1. You can become a depreciator if you’ve experienced great challenges   – or a very traumatizing event.  I know after I found myself blindsided by a Prince Harming, I became an accidental depreciator in the beginning of my next relationship. I found myself looking at my partner through a magnifying glass, on a hunt to find what might be wrong with him, so I wouldn’t be surprised by another karate kick to my heart.  Unfortunately, being a depreciator is a lot like being an emotional hypochondriac.  You think every sneeze is a potential death knell.  If you’re not careful, this emotional hypochondria can manifest into self-fulfilling problems. Thankfully, I caught myself in depreciation-mode before I did too much damage to my relationship. Two things are for sure: (1) It’s no fun being a depreciator. (2) It’s no fun being with one, either! Basically, when you’re a depreciator, you can get so caught up looking for teeny-tiny flaws, that you miss the big beautiful picture of what’s right in front of you.

stop complaining

Go On A Complaint Cleanse! Stop Complaining And Love Your Life And People More!

2.  You can become a depreciator after everything starts to go awesomely well for you – when “amazing” becomes your new normal.  Basically, when things start to be too good to be true – you can become a non-believing depreciator –  looking for how things might be not-so-good or un-true. You get paranoid about how the expression “this too shall pass” also applies to the happy stuff.  You focus on what might go wrong – instead of trusting and honoring what’s going right.

3.  You can become a depreciator after you’ve scored a blessing which has been ongoing for many, many years running. For example, that delicious honeymoon glow can begin to wane after a few years of a committed relationship – or a few years of a wished-for job – or a few years after attaining anything which had once been a mere dream-bubble over your head!  All of these dreamed-for-blessings you ultimately get, can eventually become “invisible blessings” which you ultimately forget! After you’ve had a blessing for a long time, it can become murkier to see what a blessing it is! As a result, you can depreciate your blessing’s value.

4. You can become a depreciator even after a few hours of scoring a blessing – if you’re of low-self esteem!  Basically, if you don’t have high-self worth, you can wind up lowering the worth of what you achieve – reappraising the value of what you’d once praised.  It’s the ol’: “I Don’t Want To Belong To a Club Which Will Have Me as a Member Syndrome.’

stop complaining
5. You can become a depreciator when you’re someone who gets turned on by the thrill of the kill – the endorphin high of the hunt. As soon as you snag your desire, your desire is lessened. You see it as a less big thing – because you love the thrill of seeking the next big thing.

I want you to take a moment today to quiz yourself on these 5 ways you can become a depreciator. Do they resonate with you? Are you presently looking at life through a “depreciator’s” eyes? Are you seeking out opportunities to feel bad, sad, disappointed or offended  – instead of appreciating the good, the joy, the beauty, the miraculous? Do you have “invisible blessings” which need to be tallied up and accounted for?

If so…here are….

4 TOOLS TO HELP YOU STOP COMPLAINING

1. Be more mindful of purposefully looking for occasions to be happy – to see the beauty in others — to be grateful for what you’ve attracted – to see the magic in life. Make sure your blessings are fully seen by listing them daily in a journal – 10 things each day! Switch ’em up – so your list is always graced with newly mentioned blessings. (Click here to check out by best selling Instant Happy Journal!)

stop complaining
2. Think of your thoughts as being like a steering wheel.  Wherever your thoughts go, this is where you/your life will go! When you think this way, it’s easier to commit to being an appreciator (focusing on what’s working right) instead of a depreciator (focusing on what’s not working).

3. Remember: The energy you emit is the energy you attract!  When you think this way, you’re less likely to want to be a depreciator – because you’re more aware of how negativity puts you in a lower energy vibration. Basically, when you are a depreciator it’s like spraying yourself with anti-charisma! Meanwhile, when you’re an appreciator – you raise your energy vibration up higher  – thereby becoming more of a love-magnet and happiness-magnet. With this in mind, make a commitment to complain less, and love your life more.  You can start by going on a Complaint Cleanse – and vow not to complain for 7 days in a row. Feel how that feels. Also keep in mind the 20/80 rule when it comes to something you truly need to complain about: talk 20% the problem, 80% on the solution.

4. Repeat after me: It’s a hell of a lot more fun to be a grateful appreciator instead of a hateful depreciator!

(Note: If you’re feeling challenged in love, and seeking happy, safe-feeling relationship,  check out the results-proven love advice in Prince Harming Syndrome-  a best selling relationship book now 100% free for a limited time!

Share below! What’s something which comes to your mind and heart when you read this essay? I LOVE it when you share – because I love to find out about my community! Plus, many thousands of peeps read these inspiring essays – so, what you share could be a helpful inspiration for someone else! 


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Karen Salmansohn (Founder)

Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.

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