I’ve noticed this personally—how the sexiest thing a gal can ever wear to meet new men is another man’s arm around her shoulder.
When I was single, I used to wish I could take some of these new men I was meeting when with a beau, put them in Tupperware, store them in my freezer, then defrost them later – if needed – when necessary.
Great news if you’re presently single! When you do what I call a “Happily Ever After Mental Rental,” you’ll be walking around with this same “positive, confident love energy” – so no Tupperware will be needed to have an abundance of romantic attention!
I credit doing a “Happily Ever After Mental Rental,” with leading me to my sweetie.
So… what is a “Happily Ever After Mental Rental” – and why does it work?First let me back up a bit – all the way to 300 BC. As many of you know, I love Aristotle’s philosophies on happiness. So much so, I named my son Ari as a wink to Aristotle’s name.
One of Aristotle’s philosophies is to begin all projects with the final ends in mind. He calls this your “teleology.”
“Shall we not, like archers who have a mark to aim at, be more likely to hit upon what is right?” Aristotle asked.
Right now I want you to take up Aristotle’s advice—and clearly state your teleology for your love life. How do you envision your teleology of a happily ever after future?
I want you to write down – in detail – what healthful, happy love looks like, sounds like, feels like, smells like, tastes like, quacks like. Devote about 300 words at most to this description.
Please include a mention of “feeling safe” – because I’m a BIG believer that a good partner is not just physically attractive, successful, funny, etc – but they make you feel safe to be your most authentic self. (I explain this more in my Broken Heart Recovery Program.)
Do not envision a specific person. Leave room to meet someone new.Next, I want you to re-read this description, then close your eyes and visualize what you’ve written —like it’s a little movie – a mental rental from Netflix.
Do this “Happily Ever After Mental Rental” for a tiny two minutes, twice a day – once in the morning– once at night.
I’m asking you to do this for neurological reasons—not just Aristotlean ones.
According to brain research, when you train your brain to repeatedly think new positive thoughts, you more permanently change your old way of thinking—by naturally sliding your thinking into these new energized “brain grooves.”
Marci Shimoff explains it like this:
“When you change your thinking to support your happiness, your negative neural pathways shrink and your positive neural pathways widen. Eventually, over time, it becomes easier and more automatic for you to think more positively.”
Basically, when you do a “Happily Ever After Mental Rental,” you will walk around feeling more positive about yourself and your life – and thereby feel more attractive – because you’ll be imagining yourself as happily loved. As a result, you will have more of a sexy bounce in your step, and an appealing twinkle in your eye, because you will be full of love, peace, contentment and excitement!
Because emotional pain, fear and anxiety all have a much harder time existing when a long-term vision for a happier future takes over!
I believe a lot of what contributes to the sadness and downward spiraling in our lives is a sense of hopelessness.
We are resentful that circumstances aren’t unfolding as we want – which leads us to doubt we will ever get what we want.
Unfortunately every time you imagine worst-case scenarios, you refuel your hopelessness by sending a surge of blood flowing into brain regions associated with depression and anger.If you want to feel happier on a daily basis—and create a brain environment that supports clarity and solutions—then you must consciously and consistently think positive thoughts – so you can redirect blood flow in a more positive direction.
Neuroscientists have forever sung lively praise about the neural benefits of visualization. It’s been consistently shown how simply imagining positive circumstances sends blood flowing from your negative brain regions to your positive ones.
In fact, when you merely visualize doing an action, you stimulate the same brain regions as you do when performing that action. For example, if you visualize lifting your left leg right now, you will stimulate the brain region that gets activated when you truly lift your left leg.
Because visualization is so mightily powerful, many professional athletes have trained for events by visualizing successful results.
I want you to apply this same proven science of visualization to your love life. Teach your brain to refocus on good relationship patterns – and you’ll set yourself up to attract a relationship which fits the “Happily Ever After Mental Rental” you imagined.
Need support holding the image/vision of what you want?
Check out my “dream catcher” necklace!
Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.